The Worst Fanfiction Ever
by Fooruman the Great
Summary: a populer girl at beuxbatons sp decyds dat se wanna be a forin exchang student! This is the story of how bad fanfiction can be.
1. Chapter 1

The Worst Fanfiction Ever

(Note: I am not responsible for any brain damage that may have occurred from reading this fanfiction. This is a parody of poor fanfiction. If you write fanfiction like this, then OUCH. Anyway, I don't even know anything about Black Eyed Peas, that was just random.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or any characters, locations, or poor latin related to him. They belong to Jo and Warner Brothers.

Rose Sapphire was the most popular girl in Beauxbautons (OMG SP?11/1!) but then she heard there were real hot guys at Hogwarts so she decided to go there! So she like goes on the train (I don't think you care about her signing up or walking on or anything that stuff is boring NEWAY BACK TO THE STORY!101) and she sees this really hot boy with a real cute arse! So she casts a prettyiness charm on herself by screaming "TomusFeltonus" and she goes up to hit on the boy and he turns around! And OMG she liked this side of him even better because sure he had a good butt but his eyes look great and he has great silver hair so I say 'hey Im' rose Sapphire and you are the cutest boy I have ever seen"

Yeah that what every girl says" said the hot guy so I say what your name and he says "they call me draco malfoy but you can call me his royal hotness" "lol! But her royal hotness is my name!" "Haha omg you got aim" asked the hot guy "Yeah I said "It's PrettyPrincessGirlPinkSparkleGlitterGirl9u7098809!

"Neat Im TomFeltonIsTheHottestGuyEver" "He canna be hotter then you lol" I said flirtifully "lol" he said "well I gotta go now he said "I love you" I said and I grabbed him and kissed him and it was good he was a good kisser he did French well

So then Im walking around without the hot guy and I see another hot guy! So I figure the more the bedr so I say hey man I'm the girl of your dreams, and let's prolong ur waking up!1'1

"LOL!" he says and he grabs me and we kisses me and lol! So he says his name harry potter which is cool name so we kiss some more then he leaves and I see another hot guy and he says "omg hey your hot I wanna dump my girlfriend 4 u" "lol" I say

So this guy says his name serious black but hes white but OMG SORRY I WAS JUST RACIST lol and then we kiss and I walk off and I see such a hot girl but IM NO LESBIAN GOD KILLS GAES! But I tink shell be a good friend so she wont steal all my guys lol so I say "hey we're gonna be friends" but shes not listening cuz she as an ipod and OMG those are awesome! And I pull out my ipod and she sees it and takes off er earphones and she screams LOL U HAV ONE OF THOSE 2!1? and I sae YEAH! And so she says "do u listen to blak eyed peez? (AUDORS NotE: OMT WAT A NEET BAND DAT IS I LUV DEM! CURZ I DOWNLoad ALL DER Music ILLEGALE MUSIC SDHOLDNT COST MONE lool so I say "OMG DER MY FAVOURITE BAND AND EVERY GUY STICKS their head out of their compartment and screams omg black eyed peez I love them too! And they all start singing!1!

Ever since I was a little young-a  
I always had a ryhme that I flung-a  
Any situation that you brung up  
Black Eyed Peas will shake a party like thunda  
Now everybody wanna ask and wonder  
How the Black Eyed Peas took it from the under  
From the bottom to the top  
Now we make your body rock  
Muthaf don't sit and ponder  
Cuz we come with no bloops no blunders  
We keep it fat like Atilla the Hun-a  
Latin ladies by like ay Corumba  
We caliente like you killin' in the summer

SO DEN once we finish singing every guy gos back and lily left (lily is her name lol lily potter) and then suddenly I see the first hot guy I saw snogging lily! And im lyk OMG UR CHEETING ON ME BOTH OF U!11'!'1 and tom felton goes lyk NO WAE!1!

N I o lyk YA Rly! N lie's all like OH RLY!1 so then once we get through all of that we get to Hogwarts and okae my sister is yellin at me to get off compy bye I will wryt next chapder soon!11!1


	2. of ipods 1! N LOL 1!

(Note: I still have no idea who Black Eyed Peas are, this is still intentionally bad, and I am not responsible for any brain or eye damage caused from reading this.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or any characters, locations, or poor latin related to him. They belong to Jo and Warner Brothers. I do also not own Black Eyed Peas or their lyrics, and I have no idea in the world who they are.

Rose was havin fun cuz she was holding a dance contest on the train and all the hot guys were dancing and she was dancing with pepter pettgrew at the moment who was NOT HOT (((((((((((((( n he loked lyk rat so we passed him oiff to lily so I could dance with a hot guy and then harry potter swept me up and I am in awe at how hot he is and he is only 15 years old lol so ten were at Hogwarts and I herd there was a headmaster albus dumldor but he is dead cuz som evl gi cast avda kadabra on him lol

So I am0sorted into slydiren and al the girls from theree groan cuz they know ill be takin all the hot boys! Lol so dat hot guy dreak malfoi cums up to me and he kises me and im like lol and hes like yu wanna be a deth eeter/1? N im lyk no I hav no tym for killin im too busy snogin bois!11 and he goes LOL!1 and I go LOLOL!LO!L!OL!OL!OL!O1lo11lo1lo!L!Ol12ol12o!LO!L O!LO1lo1lo1oll1o!LO!LO1olLOLO

So I walk into da room 4 my firs clas (im in 8igheth year btw) and OMG! THERE IS THE THE HOTTEST GUY I HAV EVER SEEN! I Fel LYK SWEEPIN HOIM UP AND KISSING HIM AL OVER AND NEVFR STOPIN TO BREETH HE JUS DA HOT11111 HIS ELEANT HAR GOS SO WELL WITH IIS HOTNESS N I FEL LYK WE WULD BE PRFECT N I CULD DUM AL MY UDER BOIFRENDS 4 HIM LOL CUZ DEY WULD NO MIND DEY CULD GET UDER BOYS –IN MEAN GIRLS LOL SORRY NONE OF THEM ARE GAY LOL CUZ DOSE

So it durns out im in poins clas n the profeddor wokka over 2 me and hea sez wat pot"do u wana mayk todae" n I say I wana make a love potion!'"lol

But he sez "lol but u no need 1" n I say "lol y!" n he sweeps me up in a tyt embrayc and we kiss eech uder n we spend da res of da clas doing dat

So im up in mi dorm rom n im jus typin on mi laptop, u know adin the new gi whose called Alan Rickan 2 my top 8 on myspace3 lol (hogwats has build in indernet lol) n im also jamin out wit my ipod and evry1 in da rooom has an ipod 2 n im busy downloading music (onli dum ppl pay 4 it) n den I sudnly strt sining BLAK EYED PEEZ!

Johnny wanna be a big star  
Get on stage and play the guitar  
Make a little money, buy a fancy car  
Big old house and an alligator  
Just to match with them alligator shoes  
He's a rich man so he's no longer singing the blues  
He's singing songs about material things  
And platinum rings and watches that go bling  
But, diamonds don't bling in the dark  
He a star now, but he ain't singing from the heart  
Sooner or later he's just gonna fall apart  
Coz his fans can't relate to his new found art  
He ain't doing what he did from the start  
And that's putting in some feeling and thought  
He decided to live his life shallow  
Passion is love for materialso Im lyk LOL DAT MY FAVURTE SONG HOW U GIS KNOE IT?1? n der lyk lol curz we do!1!1 blak eyed peez is lyk the bes band in the worlde!11!

LOL! So im in da samer dorm room as gine westly, padma padil, n of curz lily poder. N den I throe a pillow at dem!11! den suddenly westly screems "OMG I LUV U ROSE SAPHIRE!11"!"! n OMG! Im lyk "OmG U LESBIN NOE WAE!11111!" n se al lyk "YES WAE!11!" "and im like OMG YOU WILL BURN IN HELL""!'1'1 and shes al lyk wel u a homophobwe!11! "n im lyk lol u jus invent dat word dat no reel word211!" "n shes lyk LOL U IDIOT!1!" "and im lyk LOL I KNOW I AM BUT WHAT ARE YOU"!"1'! and she says "lol u got dat mesd up" wle I sae "at leest my ipod is bedr then urs!211!" n she sad cuz dat true.


	3. Chapter 4

(Note: No idea who Black Eyed Peas are.)

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and all related characters or the lyrics to Black Eyed Peas. Or whichever band happens to feature here.

Sry dat i ws nit updayting! 1 ws 2 bizee dayting HOT BOYS!!1! lol i gt sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo manee boyfriends (i can spell that!) tim felton was walking along da mall part of hogworts lookin 4 presentz 2 buy 4 his MAAANNNyY!!!!! gurlfriends (cuz hes popular) wen he saw me 9rose saphyr) walkin out of da skimpy clothz stor. I was dressd a bra dat showd da most cleeeeeeeeeeeeeevge in AL OF HOGWORTS!! mi pants had rips at sugestive playcs n mi bra was on vry loose.

Malfoe lovd me so muc all his cloths fellllll off in a HEEPING PILE IN SEXYYYNESSS!! i whistld flirting n he grabbd me n pulld off al my cloths. "u r fukin hot" he sad "u act lyk i dont know" n we had sex. in da middl of howgorts. den hairy pothead walkd bi n saed "OMG U CHEET ON ME BITCH!!!" and rikman sed the same thing but he cald me a slut insted. "Y DONT U HAVE SEX WIT HEECH UDR DEN!?"

im gay" sed poted "here 2" rick agred. "I DIDNT MEEN SRSLY!!" i screemed. U GUYZ ShULDNT HAV CHOSSN GAYNES!" dey took off their cloths and jus as dey wer prepareeng 2 hav sex god smited them 4 chosing 2 be gay. AS GAY GUYS SUK!! do not chos 2 be gay. god hayts u.


	4. wat's a title?

Don't own anything, don't know who Black Eyed Peas are.

Mi Anglish teecher sais dat if i want too gett apassing grayde, i must try to write in 'proper' Anglish. So dis fanfiction chapder wil suck much more den the uders becuz it is incorectli spelld (aol anglish is REAL anglish).

tom felton was hot. He liked that he was hot. i, rose Saphire am alls0 (sp?) hot. When i walk in2 clas, the bois al wint 2 get in mi jeans. 1 day I was kissin-y boys. I do dat everydai (lol!!) I was kissin tim Felton hairy podder hermi1 grayngr (IM NOT GAY BUT SEE WAS DRESSD LYK A BOIY SO I KISD HER OKAE?! NOT GAAAAAY!! NOT GAY!!). Den tim Felton saw Dumbledor(k) walke bai. He pulld out his wand (not dat wand u pervert) n shot him.

dumbldor(k) dyd instently. "OH MI GAD U KILL PEOPLE" I siad in shock.

"..wanna hav sexz?" he askd. "okay" i sed.


End file.
